Sunday, December 29, 2013

The Poison Princess by Kresley Cole

“Remember my titles? I don't get poisoned, I do the poisoning. I'm the Princess of it.” 

So today, we have decided to review the book Poison Princess by Kresley Cole. The prologue of this book started off with some serious promise. It gave you this sense creepiness and mystery and the guy who is narrating...what a mess. He gave you this rapist feel, but that's only for a short while so don't let that scare you away from reading the book. He just added to my curiosity as to what would happen. So, naturally, I continued with the book, setting aside everything (my school work) just to get through with it. Unsurprisingly, thanks to the book, I scored three consecutive C's, but that's not the point. This book has its pros, but unfortunately, I think it's cons might just outweigh them.

<Gabby has to talk about this cover--excuse her...> WOW! That cover-the feels!!! I love the fire! And the font and the dress and the colors... and I could go on and on and on.... It just represents this book SO SO well :).

Starting with the pros:
1. Jackson Deveaux- this boy... Oh God. He's Cajun French and that just makes everything so much better, right? He's hot, angry and determined. If he wants something, he will get it. And his accent, dear Lord. The way he says partner, 'podna', just say that to yourself in your head. Doesn't that sound sexy?

2. The action- there's not much of it, but whatever we get is sufficient. I'm used to a lot of violence; I'm a naturally violent person. (Don't be scared, people, my sister has never actually armed anyone. Right, Elena? - Ari *glares disapprovingly*) Crown of Midnight by Sarah Maas is one of my favorite books and I have this weird affiliation with horror movies, so yes, this wasn't enough to satisfy my tastes since it is a post-apocalyptic novel but of all the action that we do get, it's a breath of fresh air. Especially from all the petty drama that goes on.

3. The ending. Wow. Just wow. And to think this book was going to make me rip my hair out. It is so intense, it's amazing.
That's it. That is. All. Of. The pros.

Now the cons:
1. Our main character, Evangeline, is sixteen and recapping her story before the Flash (the apocalypse) to rapist (the guy who I referred to earlier), Arthur. The thing is, she recaps almost a week before the apocalypse in explicit detail. I did this then, I watched this there, I talked to her about this. We learn that this girl has got issues early on in the novel but the author never specifies that she has anything like super memory so how does she remember everything so clearly. It's not like these few days are told in third person! Literally, she can remember not watching one episode of America's Next Top Model. She remembers her conversations with her best friend word for word. And I don't even remember her best friend's name cause I don't give a single ounce of a crap about her.

2. The supporting characters in those seven days. Mel (the best friend whose full name I cannot remember), Brandon (the "perfect" jock boyfriend), Clotile and Jackson Deveaux's other friend (who I couldn't care any less about). Why are they even here? Because SPOILER ALERT! (not really), they all die. We suffer through almost one hundred fifty pages of Evangeline talking to them, with the conversations sharing no relevancy to the story. Mel is overly fond of saying the 'b-word' for some reason, Evangeline is at crossroads about whether she should give up her V-Card to Brandon, she's trying to out slut Clotile and Jackson Deveaux's friends...why were they even there?Just..why?

3. Selena Luna- I wanted to rip her throat out. From when she was introduced, I didn't like her. She's described as a Lara Croft look alike and I hated that it all works out. Selena is rude, a liar and just downright selfish. Read the book yourself to find out more about this girl. Her only upside is that she's a complete badass when it comes to fighting.

4. Jackson Deveaux. Oh Jackson. He's a dick at the beginning of the book and it's really hot. He's a dick during the middle of the book and it's really hot. He's a dick at the end of the book, it's so not hot. He's apparently got reasons to be the way he is and frankly, they're pathetic. The way he treats Evangeline, it's like indirect abuse. Just disgusting. I'm not saying that Evangeline is innocent, she shares the blame, but she doesn't completely deserve the way he treats her.

5. Evangeline Greene, the main character. Pathetic, annoying, whiny. Did I say annoying? Kill me already. You get off on the wrong foot with this girl. In the first few pages, her rich as heck boyfriend is picking her up in his BMW or whatever and she's all dressed up for her first day of school. And she's not happy about seeing her boyfriend. She's disappointed. You know why? Because he didn't compliment her dress, or necklace or bracelet or anything else. Like, girl! What's wrong with you? Then apparently the school would fall apart without her and she waves to everyone at school because...I don't know why. And after the apocalypse? She can't hunt or cook or fix her own dang car, she's completely useless until Jackson Deveaux comes back for her. And just out of curiosity, how does Jackson survive the apocalypse when everyone just drops dead? Anyway, after the entrance of Selena Luna, Evangeline just falls apart. All she can think about is Jackson having sex with Selena and just how jealous she should be of them. I wanted to slap the girl. Hard.

6. Last but not least, the beginning. I had the biggest problem with this because what was its point. Yeah, Evangeline is a freak who has visions of the apocalypse and is an amazing artist. Ok, we get that, but what do you want me to do? Grovel over it? Her and Mel (the best friend in case you don't remember), are talking about guy stuff and Evangeline keeps talking about how loyal her boyfriend is and how much he loves her. She hates on Jackson and his gang and yells at him a lot. Come on! The guy has issues but he's not that bad! Now I wouldn't have such a problem with the beginning because we definitely could use with a little back story, but not 100+ of it. Especially 100+ of back story that pretty shares no relevancy with the story whatsoever.

In conclusion, though I wanted to rip this book to shreds several times, I will definitely continue with the series. The ending and the way Jackson says partner saved it for me. But I had high expectations for Poison Princess and it fell flat. 2.5 stars.